Sunday, 6 March 2011


I am a coffeeholic. There, I said it.

At Least 10 to 15 cups a day while working at my terminal. The first thing in the morning, coffee, then more coffee, then shower or bath, boot up workstation, coffee while it boots (It needs a full software re-installation – all the crap that accumulates has slowed it down – one day when I get fed up with waiting and have a spare 36 waking hours or so I can manage without the benefit of internet, e-mail, music, and so on. That’s how long it takes to install and do all the approximately 5GB of updates, system and application settings, and convincing ‘microdoft’ appys to use English UK as the default language. With numerous ‘you need to restart your computer to continue’ messages in between. ). Log on and more coffee. Get the idea?

Proper coffee too, not that chicory ersatz substitute – it makes nauseous. Instant or filter, with ubisi and isikela, occasionally black. Damn, it’s good stuff.

My sympathies to coffee shop owners, if they had any sense, they’d close the doors when they see me coming. I remember one occasion, a colleague and self decided to meet at a local emporium as we had some work matters to discuss, and a change from the office seemed like a good idea. Didn’t realise their filter coffee was a ‘bottomless cup’, and around 1 an hour and a half later, and six and five refills respectively, asked for the bill. Got charged for 2 cups. Should have taken note of the waitresses expression after round 3, “Really, More?” Well I’m afraid I HAD to ask to see mine host to apologise. Nice chap. And left what probably the most generous tip the waitress had ever received for serving only coffee. (After all, it was an allowable tax deductable expense, and one of the very few benefits of the job, meagre compensation for a salary scale the ‘owners’ should have been ashamed of). After that the place became a second office, but we’d order a couple rounds of cappuccino (with CREAM thank you) before limiting ourselves to 2 or 3 filters. At least that way one got the feeling of paying for the seat…

Then there’s the question of milk! Unless one specifies, invariably out comes the scalded hot stuff. Yuck, hot milk with coffee or anything else is foul. The only time ubisi should be anything other than fridge temp is when it comes out of the cow, and then its blood temp, not hot. And the full cream variety only; what is the point of removing the fat content, leaving only a watery liquid?

Chow for now, my cup runneth empty – it’s time for a refill…

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